This is me…

Since having Adam I’ve done a lot of losing and finding myself.  It’s funny how becoming a parent can do that to you isn’t it?!  I started this blog when I found out I was pregnant and instantly felt very alone in the things I was experiencing and the way I was feeling. The parenting blogger market is so heavily saturated but the real, shitty gritty stuff is still buried deep down below all the perfection of parenting and I wanted the shitty stuff. I wanted someone else to tell me that what I was feeling wasn’t strange, or wrong or unheard of! I wanted someone else to write about what I was writing about. And then I started believing those to be my weaknesses and I hid them from the world (those posts are set to private).

Those feelings haven’t really changed very much since having Adam, they’ve actually grown and evolved.  Feelings of losing myself as a person, losing my independence, suddenly being thrown into this huge amass of responsibility.  Since falling pregnant and becoming a parent all I’ve wanted was to shake those feelings!  I didn’t want those feelings anymore but I’m learning to embrace them.  I went from being an independent working professional, showered and dressed every morning and not smelling of congealed breast milk to barely getting a second to breathe, let alone eat or sleep and constantly rocking the messy bun with added grease and it was a shock to the system to say the least.

So naturally I’ve gone on a very long soul searching journey whilst riding the motherhood train and I seem to finally be finding my feet.  Being on maternity leave meant I had lots of free time on my hands (in between the sleepless nights and cluster feeds) to work on finding me again.  It took a while but I realised I could be me whilst still being Mum.  I rekindled my love for writing but also found a new passion for photography and with Instagram being a visual platform, that is naturally where all of my efforts have been spent recently.  If you haven’t found me on my blog, it’s most likely I’ve been on Instagram, Liking, Commenting and creating a bit of magic for my feed but I’ve also been creating lots of useful Instagram related content for my wonderful friend Jodine and her new venture Brand Influencers UK.

Instagram has fast become my little obsession but I am by no means an expert.  I do enjoy learning the inner workings of Instagram and as well as following the works of Sara Tasker, I am partial to spending my spare time learning about what works for Instagram and what doesn’t and I love shouting about it from the rooftops but for some reason I just don’t put my own knowledge into practice.

My downfall when it comes to Instagram or anything for that matter, is that I fail to practice what I preach.  I know what works and what gains traction but I rarely find the time or energy to put those things in to practice. 2019 is the year I stop making those excuses and practice what I teach!

I have had a fair bit of time to soul search these last few weeks (that’s what being admitted to hospital twice in the space of a week does to you!) and I’ve realised that my whole purpose for blogging or Instagram blogging hasn’t changed. I still very much see it as an outlet for my mental health journey and a way of communicating feelings that I otherwise may not be able to express. But the way I convey my message has changed, I use photography and editing as a form of therapy and what better platform to do that on than Instagram right?!

So there is a little insight for you about my journey and how it has evolved over the past year or so for all the new followers who have found their way to me through Instagram and for those that have been there from the start. I’m still learning and growing, and I don’t claim to be an expert but I now where my passions lie, I know what makes me ME again.

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My gift to Adam for Nursery…

 

As you all probably know, if you’ve been following my journey with Adam for a while, our attempt at putting Adam in to nursery and me going back to work didn’t really work out very well for either of us when my maternity leave ended last December.

So I took some time away and had a good hard think about how we were going to make this process easier for the two of us second time around.  I knew that I wanted to step away from all the negative feelings I had when we went through all of this previously and make it as fun as possible so that it wasn’t such a shock to both of us when the time came for him to go back to nursery.

I came up with the idea of creating a little scrapbook for Adam to take to nursery, something that was only his and he could sit and look through if ever he missed us or wanted a reminder of home so I sourced a small scrapbook and got to thinking about what I could do/put inside for him and then I thought, Why not just put lots of photos inside for him to look at.  He loves books and when I’m not there to read to him he’s equally as content just flicking through the pages and pointing at all the different characters.

The four most important things in Adam’s life are probably Mummy, Daddy, Nala (the cat) and Cars so I got to finding all the pictures I could of those four things and neatly arranged them into his little scrapbook for him and I’ve been showing it to him every time I update it with new photos and he’s absolutely loved it!  I stuck the photos on with brightly coloured washi tape  to ensure they weren’t just going to fall out but also because washi tape is so easy to remove, so when hes all settled and doesn’t really want his little book anymore I can take the photos out and put them back in our photo albums again.  And if he always wants his little book near then I can continue swapping photos out and changing things in the book as he grows without ruining the pages or the photos.

Now that he’s settled into nursery the feedback from the staff is that he loves his little scrapbook and it’s such a great way for little ones to regroup when they’re confused about where family have gone.  He likes to slope off into a quiet corner at some point during the day and look through his book knowing that it is all his and he wont have to share it with the other children and we even give it to him when hes at home which he loves.  Mindfulness is my new favourite pastime and I love that by encouraging him to take a breath during his day and promoting calm moments it allows him to process his emotions without leaving him overloaded at the end of the day.  I’m in the process of taking more pictures of him with the silly cat so that I can print them and pop them in his book for next week and this will be an activity that we can both sit down and do together so he is always involved in the evolution of his little scrapbook.  Also I’m so happy that Autumn is here so that we can forage for crisp leaves and maybe pop them around his photos.

This is not in any way an #ad but I’ve been using the freeprints app to print all of my photos which is amazing because we get to choose 45 free prints a month.  I usually go over the 45 because I take so many pictures of Adam but it only costs a little bit extra.  And all i have to pay is the delivery charge and they arrive a few days later and look really good.  Both myself and my husband have the app so we get 90 free prints a month!! Use my referrer code and we both get 5 bonus free prints, you don’t have to but it would be nice :).  https://fpuk.app.link/invite?friend=sahmad155&end=end

I’d love to know of any other ideas for crafty things with toddlers if you have them and please tag me your pictures if you decide to make your little one a little nursery scrapbook.

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